You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
