Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
