i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
