I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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