Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
