His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
