Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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