Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
