Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
that is very illegal...i love you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
