Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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