I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm just crazy horny about you
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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