Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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