my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
