i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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