They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
