Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
