hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I didn't notice because vodka
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
