You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
