Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
