She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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