i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
