ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
