I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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