I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you would pick up someone in the library
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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