My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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