Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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