If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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