Will you blow on my dice?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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