Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
