u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
