The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
