she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
