shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
