dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
As shirtless as possible
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
