i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
