I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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