Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
