you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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