doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
