she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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