I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
