plz talk dirty to me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
