Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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