You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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