I love black thongs
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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