laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
