party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
