We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
