What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
