My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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