; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
